Mudder's Milk

Mudder's Milk was an alcoholic beverage found in the city of Canton on Higgins' Moon.

Background

A specialty from Canton on the outer planet called Higgins' Moon—where mud was a major export. Mudding’s hard work and this potable was sure to satisfy—"all the protein, vitamins and carbs of your grandma's best turkey dinner, plus 15 percent alcohol." The ancient Egyptians, back on Earth-That-Was, used a similar form of beer that they fed the slaves to build their pyramids. This early form of beer was liquid bread, and kept the slaves from starving and knocked them out at night so they wouldn't be inclined to insurrection. Jayne was a fan of the concoction but it was definitely not to Wash's liking. In Canton, it was appropriate to raise a toast to the Mudders before downing a glass.

Recipe for non-alcoholic version

Ingredients

• 3 “High Protein” Tiger’s Milk bars
• 1/3 c. unmilled, or Irish, oatmeal
• 1 c. sarsaparilla (unspiced, unless you are brave)
• 1/3 c. of the sarsaparilla (for later)
• 2 bottles of root beer
• 1 bottle of Yoo-hoo

Instructions

• [1.] Unwrap and cut Tiger’s Milk bars into “pinkie-width” pieces. Put pieces and oatmeal into bowl with sarsaparilla and stir. Cover and refrigerate overnight.
• [2.] Once sarsaparilla and bits are soaked overnight, take one bottle of root beer and pour into saucepan.
• [3.] Heat to a simmer. Pour in contents of soaking bowl. Bring back to simmer, stirring until Tiger’s Milk bits soften. Take off heat. Pour in second root beer.
• [4.] When lukewarm to the touch, pour into blender and purée until smooth. Refrigerate for at least three hours.
• [5.] To serve, pour in Yoo-hoo, stir lightly, and pour into glasses. Serves three curious individuals, two nutty drunks, or one bloody nutter of a Reaver, who will ask for seconds...

Alcoholic version

Description

Reasonably speaking, "real" Mudder's Milk is probably supposed to have carbs. With this in mind, the description of Mudder's Milk also describes alcoholic soylent. You can add 15% everclear to get a very gritty and not-very-tasty but semi-realistic Mudder's Milk. Based on how it's described, however, Mudder's Milk is very low carb (as turkey is also very low carb). Accounting for that, the proper recipe looks a lot more like keto chow. Add 15% everclear to get just the right amount of drunk. It tastes delicious and hearty and you can actually live on the stuff if you want to (probably remove the alcohol if you want to do so functionally, though).

Appearances

• Firefly – "Jaynestown"

Sources

• Serenity cookbook pdf (found at Serenitymovie.com under Book's profile)